Coach Katie Sowers Leaves Us All Better Than She Found Us
Featured speaker Coach Katie Sowers, offensive assistant coach for the San Francisco 49ers delivered a very heart-felt and intimate message at the 2020 virtual WISE Annual Meeting on November 12. Katie, the first female and openly gay coach to be part of the professional football league, opened her appearance by saying, “My main goal is to leave you better than I found you. It’s up to you.”
From a very young age, Katie knew she wanted to be a coach. Her dad, her role model and biggest fan, was a basketball coach at Bethel College. Unlike her dad, Katie wanted to be a football coach, a professional football coach. She and her sister would round up neighborhood boys to play football. Katie taught one of her male friends how to throw a football. But at that time, girls just didn’t play or coach organized football so she turned her focus to basketball. Ironically, the focus on coaching basketball is exactly what put her on her path to professional football. While at Goshen College (IN), Katie went to the coach of the women’s basketball team – a team she had played on but was no longer eligible – to volunteer her time in the hope of gaining some more coaching experience. The coach sat her down in his office and told her that because of her lifestyle, because she was gay, they couldn’t have her working with the team. It was “nothing personal” he added. That first experience of truly facing discrimination head on fueled something in Katie to reach for her football dream no matter what obstacles lay in her path.
We all know that Katie has achieved her dream. She is coaching in the professional football league. Hers is not a Cinderella story, but one of hard work, passion and determination. She has met several obstacles being both female and gay. How Katie has met those obstacles is what sets her apart from the crowd. She looks back on those instances with gratitude for the lessons that they’ve taught her. She is also grateful for the opportunity she has had to educate others that we should not place people in predetermined boxes and that understanding is key to changing people’s minds and valuing diversity.
At the center of Katie’s message to the WISE audience were four personal tenets that she shared. The first was “don’t assume she likes pink.” Growing up, Katie was happy doing what people typically assumed that boys wanted to do like play football. “Opportunity is limited because of these constructs that we as a society put around girls and our children,” declared Katie. “Even the most open-minded person in the world has been built to see the world through a certain lens. To see change, we have to start with ourselves.”
Second, she advised that “if it doesn’t open, it might not be your door.” Reflecting back on the discussion she had with the Goshen college basketball coach, Katie now says she’d tell him thank you. That experience forced her to find something different to do, and she discovered and played for the West Michigan Mayhem, her women’s football team. “The reality is we all control our narrative,” Katie stated. “We control the way in which we view what happened to us.” Instead of being consumed by anger or self-pity, Katie chose to redirect her energy to finding a new path to her goal.
Next, Katie shared that “attitude will be the difference.” In facing challenges as a female coach and discrimination as a gay woman, Katie has chosen the route of communication and education. She articulated, “Hatred and judgement will not cure ignorance. {We have to] seek first to understand.” With her own team, she has noticed changes in the way players and colleagues talk to her because she has used humor and patience to teach them how seemingly harmless comments can indeed hurt.
Finally, she encouraged us to buy into “this idea of believing in people.” Katie believes that regardless of who you are or where you come from, you can make a difference. “Our obstacles, our boundaries, these barriers that are placed around us are actually invisible. These things society placed on us, it’s up to us to break through them.” Katie credited her mentor Scott Pioli, former assistant general manager for the Atlanta Falcons, with elevating her belief in success because she felt that someone truly believed in her.
At the end of her presentation, Katie left the attendees with a parting thought about being agents for change against discrimination and for diversity. She reminded us all that self-reflection is extremely important in creating change. “We have to reflect on who we are. We all have unconscious bias. It’s been ingrained,” she said. True change in thought and behavior happens when each person can put in the work to examine their own biases and be willing to learn. “You can make the difference,” she prompted the audience with a big smile.